Tips for Choosing a Group or Teacher

One of the first questions those new to Wicca or Witchcraft ask is “How do I find a teacher?” or “How do I find a group in my area?” The easiest way to do so is to look through the group listings on Witchvox (http://www.witchvox.com) or ask at your local Pagan shops. But how do you know that any group or individual you find there will be a good match for you? That’s a deeper issue that many don’t consider when they start searching. I don’t believe I did, way back in 1996 when I was new to Wicca. In the past 8 years, I’ve learned a few things about groups and covens and teachers and all the various related issues that I’ll sum up for you here. Karen’s Advice for Finding a Group ™ will hopefully help you avoid some of the pitfalls I experienced. Note that the issues I’ll discuss here, with a little tweaking, can apply to any sort of group you plan to join. First off, you need to sit down and consider what you’re looking for in a group or teacher. Not all are created equal. Do you prefer a small group or a large one? How far are you willing to travel? What sort of Wicca/Witchcraft are you looking for? Do you prefer structure or do you like to keep things informal? Can you afford to pay for classes? How much? Do you want a teacher who interacts with you one on one? Are you looking to initiate into a group or just to gather information? Do you want to be part of a group that’s public and open? It’s a lot to think about, I know. But figuring out the answers to these questions will save you a lot of time later as you can filter out groups that don’t match most of your criteria. The odds of finding a group that match all of your criteria are slim, so be sure to rank what’s most important and concentrate on matching those factors first. Once you figure out what you’re looking for, check the Witchvox listings in your area (see link above) or ask the staff at local Pagan shops. Local email lists or message boards are also a good place to start. Expect that the people you contact will want to have a meeting with you in a public place prior to inviting you to attend ritual or class (unless the groups routinely offer open public ritual or classes). If your point of contact doesn’t suggest this, you should. In this day and age, it’s downright dangerous to go off to a stranger’s home or other private place. A friend introduced me to my coven, so I got to skip the whole “meet in public” step. It is, however, a standard policy of the group to have a public meeting with people who don’t have such a connection. This lets both the point of contact and the seeker retain a bit of anonymity (good for folks who are still in the broom closet). Be honest about your expectations during meetings and other communications. You don’t have to jump at the first group that answers your emails if they don’t fit your criteria. If you choose not to pursue further interaction with a group, be sure to politely let them know that you aren’t interested any longer. It’s terribly frustrating for group leaders to make contact with interested folks and then have them just drop off the face of the earth. During these initial meetings, be sure to ask about the group’s expectations of you. If you cannot meet their qualifications, you’ll need to look elsewhere. Pay attention to the group dynamics early on. Is the group welcoming? Do you enjoy being with them? In class situations do they welcome questions? Do the group members interact well with each other or is there a lot of arguing and discord? You probably don’t want to join a group where all the members do is bicker with each other or belittle folks who ask basic questions. Above all, never let a group or teacher force you to do something you aren’t comfortable doing, whether that’s giving out your home phone number or taking mind-altering drugs. Be sure to address your concerns with the group leader or another trusted member, if possible, but always remember that sometimes the only way to solve an issue is to leave the group. You cannot force an entire group to change to suit your needs, unfortunately. Try to leave the group as amicably as possible, especially if your local Pagan community is small and close-knit. You don’t want to make a bad situation worse. Finding the right group or teacher can be a challenge, but the benefits are worth it. Take your time to figure out what you want and don't give up until you find it.